Independent thought
02 August 2005. 2 comments. Inspired by a familiar story of independence.
In November 2003, I sent a few ideas to a literary agent. Nothing really came of it in the end, but one idea in particular seemed popular, based on a theme I'd started to explore on here.
It was about trying to create my own country from scratch. The agency became very interested in the logistics of it... until word came back that Danny Wallace was about to do it too. Already known for his humourous books and TV series, and already with a contract, there seemed little point in trying to compete.
21 months on, and Danny's efforts are appearing on British screens. They will undoubtedly be better and more amusing than my effort would have been. Bastard. I'm sure if I go back enough through my server logs, I'll find grounds for a cut of the profits...
Anyway, for those who care (actually, I'm not sure I do any more), here's the rough first outline I sent in, and that could have led to me leaving Spain and living in a Yorkshire field for a year, if it hadn't been for that pesky Wallace.
CREATING MY COUNTRY : The struggle for independence in a small field somewhere in the UK.
The aim: to write a book looking at the ownership rights of UK citizens on their land, and to examine the nature of what borders and independent statehood mean in the 21st Century.
The central conceit will be the setting up of a new independent state in a field, and seeing how far I can take it. The style will be light-hearted and mostly humorous - but will also tackle serious issues, such as how a state can get UN recognition, the nature of issuing passports, what you can and can't do on your own property, and so on.
The outline:
The war with Iraq, foundation hospitals, hatred of asylum seekers, David Beckham. I've had enough of the UK. I want to make a stand against what the Government and the country has become - but I don't want to go too far away to do it. Instead, I'm going to find a quiet spot in the UK and secede it. But how far can I go before the authorities intervene? And what legal rights do I have if they do?
Possible chapters include:
- Finding the spot. It can't have any pipelines, cables etc running underneath it for fear of invasion by UK companies who want to update their infrastructure (that could prove embarrassing during any visits by foreign dignitary). It also needs good drainage because I'm going to set up camp there. Somewhere not too far from the shops, over the border in the UK, would be nice too.
- What do I call myself? Can I be King, or do I have to be a member of an existing regal bloodline? What is the difference between being a principality, like Monaco, or a constitutional monarchy like Spain?
- Looking at, and, where possible, talking to, those who have done it before on the British mainland, both fictional and real - including Sealand, Waveland (the Greenpeace annexation of Rockall), Passport to Pimlico, Pictland, Fretonia (the independent squat in 1980s London), GK Chesterton's Napoleon of Notting Hill.
- What rights do I have on my land to start with? If the UK Government still refuses to accept my right to exist, does that alter my right to see people's passports before they enter my property? If I want to set these rules, surely I can anyway (and be seen as merely eccentric). Has anyone tried to do this before?
- Can I issue my own passports? And can I stamp other people's? What is a passport and where did they come from?
- How would I get EU recognition, as the Basque country is currently seeking (having declared itself semi-independent recently, subject to referendum)? Or UN recognition? Is there a UN department that deals with this and how does one apply?
- What are the consequences of independence and how far could you take it (without openly breaking the more obvious UK laws) before the government or local council would intervene?
The issues are essentially:
- ownership of property rights in the UK and the European Court of Human Rights; what you can and can't do
- the differences in layman's terms between different kinds of nation state
- a look at those who have tried to be independent in the UK in recent times
- what is a passport and what rights does it demand?
- how does a genuine rogue state (with more tightly defined political/socio-economic reasons to exist) gain international recognition?
I would seek to interview as many people as possible, from political leaders to professors of law, to help explain a number of complex issues in relation to my new nation state. Though historical issues, such as the creation of the first passport and the background of UK statehood, will undoubtedly be discussed, the main focus will be on what rights we have here and now, and about the whole nature of place and rule of law.
By looking at the real issues, while simplifying things into layman's terms, I would hope to write something accessible to the general public, framed by an engaging narrative explaining my personal struggle for independence.
2 comments
I noticed Wallace's programme being trailed and winced on your behalf. As you say, bastard.
This would have been excellent. In fact, perhaps it's still worth doing just so can officially declare war on him: forget prior art, I think you've got a cassus belli here.
Cassus belli? Jon, you're obviously thinking of bellicose Crasssus, the sadistic commander of Roman armies, played by Laurence Olivier in Stanley Kubrick's Spartacus. As you won't need to be reminded, Crassus declares war on Kirk Douglas and other political separatists by putting down the slaves' revolt. He doesn't stamp their passports, but he does nail an awful lot of them to trees, which I suppose is the next best thing. Either that, or you're talking about a casus belli. Take your pick: cassus or Crassus. They both work for me.